|Are you addicted to pawn?|
By now you’ve probably seen an episode of one of the many pawn shop reality shows on TV with titles that play off the fact that “Pawn” sounds kind of like “Porn.” There’s “Pawn Stars”, “Hardcore Pawn”, “Beverly Hills Pawn” (which doesn’t even bother trying to make a real pun), etc. So I was thinking how many damn pawn shows are they going to make? And what will their names be? Here’s a list of the top 5 pawn shows I think everyone wants to see:
5. “P.O.V. Pawn”
This show would be all about putting the viewer in the shoes of the person pawning an item. The entire series would be filmed from a first person perspective. Sure it might not really be even close to replicating the actual experience, but if you use your imagination it might be enjoyable.
4. “Ebony Pawn”
Even if you’re not a fan of ebony porn you’ll probably get a kick out of “Ebony Pawn.” Who wouldn’t want to see what it’s like inside a pawn shop run by African American individuals? You know it’s gonna get raw and hilarious up in that beeyatch!
3. “Lesbian Pawn”
I’m really surprised this isn’t a pawn show already. Lesbian porn is one of the most popular kinds of porn there is so it’s a natural fit for a pawn show on Logo or Bravo or one of the other gay channels. It would be like the “L-Word” but with people selling things because they’re as broke as their dreams.
2. “Tentacle Pawn”
If you’ve never heard about tentacle porn it’s a Japanese type of adult film where women have intercourse with octopus tentacles. This of course would not be the entire idea behind “Tentacle Pawn” because that would make no sense and be disgusting. Instead, “Tentacle Pawn” would be about a pawn shop that specializes in anime and nerd toys, comics, etc.
And the number 1 pawn related show we’re all waiting for is…
1. “Midget Pawn”
It’s already been proven that people love pawn reality shows and they love dwarf reality shows. Have you ever seen that one “Pit Boss” about the short guy who rescues pit bulls? Well combine the two and you get the amazing hijinx and intrigue befitting the name “Midget Pawn.” And just like “midget porn” it’ll likely be something you’ll never be able to unsee.
|Not just any midgets, WONDERFUL MIDGETS.|