Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Put Underarm Antiperspirant on My Taint?”

It's not called Taint and
Hammer, but go ahead.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
My taint gets mad sweaty in the month of August and no matter what I do I can’t seem to keep it dry. The only thing I haven’t tried that someone suggested is apply my underarm antiperspirant on my taint. I’m reticent to try that shit tho because I heard the aluminum chloride active ingredient in the antiperspirant can clog lymph nodes and cause breast cancer. I don’t want to get cancer, you heard? -- Tyshaun from Grand Rapids, Michigan

Dear Tyshaun:
The idea that the aluminum in antiperspirant can clog up lymph nodes leading to a build up of toxins has been proven to be false. The body doesn’t sweat out toxins so you don’t have to worry about that. As far as breast cancer is concerned, aluminum has been linked to that, but no substantial proof has been found. Plus, I don’t think there’s such a thing as Taint Cancer. If there is then they definitely need a ribbon and an ice bucket challenge type movement to help raise awareness. As far as I know, underarm antiperspirant can be used to block sweat pretty much anywhere on the body. As long as you have healthy kidneys you shouldn’t be afraid of the aluminum content. Thanks for the question.

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