Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t They Call it Up Syndrome?”

Maybe it's "Down" Syndrome
because they're so fluffy and
Dear McFartnuggets: 
Hey how come people call it Down Syndrome? Shouldn’t we call it Up Syndrome? Why the hell are people trying to put these mentally handicapped people down and make them feel lower than other people? It’s a bad connotation to be sticking them with. Shouldn’t we be trying to elevate these people and make them feel good about themselves? How can we do that when we’re calling it DOWN Syndrome? It’s just flat out disgusting. Personally I find the term very offensive. We’re basically calling them “Lower” which is almost like “Retard” since retard means slow. Slow and low are not what we should be calling people with this issue. Am I right?! -- Felicia from Cooperstown, New York

Dear Felicia:
Those are some good points, but the unfortunate truth is that Down Syndrome is what we call it because it was first officially classified by John Langdon Down. It’s just a tragic misfortune that he was the one who slapped his name on it. If only his name could have been John Langdon Hero or John Langdon Inspiration. Then I think we’d all feel a lot better. It’s just sad that he’s the guy who gets his name on the disorder because he was pretty much a politically incorrect jerk. He wrote a paper called "Observations on the Ethnic Classification of Idiots" and was responsible for the term “Mongaloid.” So if you have a problem with it being called Down Syndrome then you have to blame that guy.

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