Dumbass Sayings: “I’m Gonna Call the Police!”

Sometimes your masseuse or hooker will scream “I’m gonna call the police!” This is such a silly phrase. Whenever you hear it you know it’s always an empty threat. Like a hooker is going to call the police...  Even if they weren’t a hooker, if there’s really an emergency no one says “I’m gonna call the police!” They just do it. If you see someone get shot in the street you don’t say “I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!!!” you just take out your flip phone and dial the shit. Nine times out of ten when someone says “I’m gonna call the police” they’re doing it just to scare you into removing your clown mask and turning the chainsaw off. And if you’re a hooker or a masseuse or a dental assistant, just know that this phrase never works. How often does a woman says “I’m gonna call the police!” and the guy suddenly starts acting properly. You nearly never see that happen. Don’t even bother with that nonsense. Just call the cops and get them there as soon as possible. You’re wasting valuable seconds with your hesitation.

Here comes trouble.

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