Dumbass Sayings: “I Was Born Ready”

Sometimes before you’re about to go skydiving or rob a bank you look at the other person in the plane or car and say “Are you ready?” and they say “I was born ready.” Really? You were BORN ready? I sincerely doubt that. You’re trying to tell me that the moment your head crowned out of your mother’s vagina you were prepared to jump out of a plane? Anyone who’s ever seen a newborn baby knows that they’re not ready for a damn thing. They’re crying, they’re shivering, it actually looks like they want to go back in. You’re not even ready to breastfeed at that point. Even if you were ready to do something the second you were born, what does that even mean? When you’re ready to do something you’re ready to do something. The duration of time you’ve been ready really doesn’t come into play ever. Readiness doesn’t really increase over time. If anything, being ready for something years in advance probably decreases your readiness because you become complacent and lose interest. Whether you were ready from the moment you were born or you’re ready just a few seconds ago, you’re ready and that’s all that matters which makes this saying useless.

The only thing you're really born ready to do is cry.

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