Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Use Nair to Give Myself a Home Brazilian Wax?”

Dear Mcfartnuggets: 
I need to get all the hair off my privates including my bootyhole hair, but I don’t feel comfortable having a stranger apply a wax strip to my unmentionables. Is it okay for me to buy a bottle of Nair and just slap some of that onto my B-hole? -- Raylonda from Ewing, New Jersey

Dear Raylonda:
Well the way Nair works is it’s a chemical depilatory that breaks down keratin which weakens hair so it falls off. The problem is, human skin contains keratin so if your skin is particularly sensitive (which the “b-hole” tends to be) you may experience chemical burns. Nair is really only for the arms and legs, they don’t even recommend you use it on your face. I mean think about it, if it was safe for faces that would kind of put the entire razor market out of business. So if it’s not good enough for your face why the hell would you want to risk slathering your craphole with it? Best case scenario: it works, worst case scenario: your stinkhole is covered in painful weeping blisters. I’m not sure that’s worth the risk.

Waxing yourself is possible, but for some reason people love having someone else do it for them.

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