1.01.2015

Dumbass Sayings: "I Hate Being Sick"

Sometimes when you see someone vomiting on the sidewalk at 3 am on New Year’s Day and they cry "I hate being sick!" Of course you hate being sick. Everyone hates being sick! What an obvious thing to say. Even masochistic people who enjoy their balls having torture devices on them probably dislike having the flu. You could find the creepiest bastard on Craigslist who wants women in high heels to stomp on his nutsack and even that guy gets his flu shot. There's never a point in saying "I hate being sick." It's the same as saying "I hate cancer" or "I enjoy oxygen" or "My grandma smells odd." We all know. These are things you don't have to bother stating. You know what I hate? I hate sick people who say they hate being sick. I can already tell by the green bile you’re puking up and all the retching sounds that you’re clearly not having a great time. Let those speak for you in these instances.

Being tended to by Sally Cheeseclothmouth over here isn't a big treat.

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