Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Are We Still Using Pizza Boxes To Transport Pizzas?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why the hell are we still stuck using pizza boxes as the method to transport pizzas? Have you ever had to take a pizza home and walk with a pizza box? It’s ridiculous. You have to hold it like a dumbass waiter and avoid bumping into people. It’s like walking around with a goddamn tray of hors d'oeuvres. I think if pizza places would just stack slices and put them in a vertical rectangular box then you could put it in a bag and walk with it easily. Why don’t pizza places do this? Why the hell do we have to keep the pizza in it’s circular form? -- Brianne from Los Angeles, California

Dear Brianne:
This is an interesting question. Pizza boxes are traditional and people enjoy them. If you had pizza slices stacked on each other like a big slice of cake then that would grease up the bottoms and maybe during the traveling process this effect would ruin the pizza. I assume it would be edible and still be okay, but that’s definitely hurting the pizza experience. Plus, carrying a pizza with you does make you look like a jackass which is the point. You have to get it delivered and that creates jobs. If everyone could just pick up their pizza and walk with it looking normal then there might be one less job out there and that can never help an economy.

If pizzas were stacked slice on slice it would make it harder for pizza deliverymen to soil or tamper with your entire pie.

Write your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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