Ask McFartnuggets: "If You Died Right Now Would You Be Happy With Your Life?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 

If an asteroid came and hit the Earth and destroyed all life on the planet tonight would you be happy with your Life? Would you have any regrets? -- Morris from White Plains, New York

Dear Morris:

I've thought about this and the answer is no, but the nice thing about it is it doesn't matter what you think about your life after you're dead because there's no you to have regrets. If you're dead you can't regret anything. Even if you believe in Heaven I doubt people are walking around heaven regretting things. If you're in heaven then that sort of supercedes any earthly regrets. And if you don't believe in heaven then you believe that once you die it doesn't even "go black." Some people think it "goes black" when you die but that can't be true. There are no end credits that roll after you die. The second it happens the show is over and that's it. There's no epilogue or reflection. There can be no regrets. Regrets are for life not death. Death is the absence of all regret. So whether you have regrets before dying or not it doesn't matter because you'll be dead which means eventually you won't have regrets at all so there's no real reason to ever regret anything. Eventually you won't have anything. You'll be dead.

The only thing I would regret is not being directly under the asteroid because then you have to drown in a tidal wave and that must suck.

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