Dumbass Song Lyrics: "Santa Baby"

Everyone knows the classic Christmas song “Santa Baby” from 1953. In it, a grown ass woman requests gifts from Santa. Everyone knows Santa only gives presents to children on Christmas. It’s pretty much accepted that adults are the only ones who give adults gifts on that holiday so this bitch be trippin’, as they say in the hood. She also sings in a sexually suggestive manner to Santa Claus which is baffling. Santa is a several hundred year old married spirit. What woman is trying to get laid by that? What kind of emotional problems must you have in order to want the real Santa to bone you? This is just a flat out dumb, rude, and offensive song. I bet Santa is still hearing shit from Mrs. Claus about the song to this day. Imagine being Mrs. Claus and hearing this song. I'm shocked they haven't already divorced over this crap. This two-timing hussy thinks she can just go off asking Santa to buy her expensive jewelry. She’s basically endangering the concept of Christmas. What if St. Nick decided to marry her and divorced Mrs. Claus? First off, even if he wanted to keep Christmas going it would be pretty difficult to do that at the same scale with half of the North Pole taken from you in divorce court. Secondly, he might not even give a damn if he’s so infatuated with Eartha Kitt or whoever the hell sings this song. This is just a careless song and we’re all lucky Santa and Mrs. Claus took it for the joke that it was.

Who the hell would want to interfere in this? Goddamn homewrecker...

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