The Top 5 Worst Diet Cleanses

It seems that everyone these days is on some sort of "cleanse." Cleanses are the new Tamagotchis. You've heard of the water cleanse, the ex lax cleanse, the V8 cleanse, and the milk enema cleanse and those are a great, but there are some cleanses you should avoid like the plague. Here are the top five worst cleaners out there right now:

5. LSD cleanse
You may cleanse your spirit, the only negative is you might wind up convinced you're a Wolfman.

Cleansing your third eye will result in the seeing of a lot of disturbing sights.

4. Tequila cleanse
The tequila cleanse is basically the alcohol, vomit, and regret cleanse. It does flush your system out, but in a way that eliminates all the vitamins and good things in your body.

You'll lose most of the weight out of your mouth and urethra.

3. Opium cleanse
Otherwise known as the heroin cleanse, this is a cleanse that will definitely help you lose weight. The problem is consuming nothing but heroin will most likely be fatal.

The Opium Cleanse is not recommended for anyone who needs to go to work.

2. Urine cleanse
Many people brag about the medical properties of consuming one's own urine. While urine is sterile, drinking nothing but urine can be very harmful. It is bodily waste obviously. It's all the stuff the body doesn't want so why would you put that back in? It might have some positive effects, but the buildup of urea and other toxins far outweighs those.

You get in what you put out, and then you get that out again.

And the number one worst cleanse available is...

1. Crack cleanse
People will rant on and on about the crack cleanse. These people are crackheads. Take anything they say with a grain of cocaine.

The Crack Cleanse is very easy to get addicted to.

Cleansing is dangerous, especially the ethnic kind.

No comments :

Post a Comment