Dumbass Sayings: “Coldest Day of the Year”

As arctic wind makes its way down through America a lot of meteorologists and weatherpeople are saying things like “New England is going to get its coldest day of the year tomorrow.” The problem with this is it’s January 6th. The phrase “Coldest day of the year” shouldn’t be used at all in January, it means NOTHING. When you say January 7th is the coldest day of the year you just sound stupid. How drunk did you get on New Year’s Eve that you don’t remember how recently it just became a new year? If you’re going to say January 7th is the “coldest day of the year” then you better stick with that and mention when the day after is the “coldest day of the year” and the next day and the next because that’s very likely going to be the case when you set a baseline value that early in a sample of data. Even noting the coldest day of the year in March is stupid. It’s like when people call a film “the best action movie of 2015” when the shit came out in February. You need to let more than a few days pass before you have a wide enough sampling to look back on. Now if you point out it’s the coldest day of the year in July then that’s noteworthy. If you say it in November or December then that actually means something because it’s colder than it was in the dead of Winter. January serves to provide the value for the title "coldest day of the year" later on in the year. Even if there is a day in January that ends up being the coldest day of the year that's something you should look back on before the next new year. Odds are no one will give a rat's ass then either.

Have some patience. Keep your pants on, it's cold out.

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