Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are People Ticklish?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Why how come people are ticklish on their bodies? What service does that provide to people? I don’t understand why this is! All the time my brother tickles me and I just pee, sometimes I poop. Why are bodies made like this? Why has evolution make us ticklish? -- Sierra from Cincinnati, Ohio

Dear Sierra:
While being ticklish often proves to be more of an annoyance than a boon to one’s existence, it does serve a very important purpose. If you’ve ever been awoken from a naked nap by a spider playing near your butthair you know exactly why people are ticklish. Body hair is like the lasers in a security system and nerves in the body act like sensors. When something, whether it be a spider, a feather, or your uncle’s finger triggers these sensors you feel an involuntary twitch and a disruption that causes you to move. In a dangerous situation this is very key because it will cause you to evade any danger before you can even realize what’s wrong. That’s the power of ticklishness. Without it, you might just be able to lay there while a tarantula crawled in your butthole and made a little nest in there. Thanks to ticklishness it’s damn near impossible to hold still during something like that and your own ass will involuntarily shake the spider away. That’s why we’re ticklish.

Sadly, sometimes psychos can take advantage of the human body.

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