Dumbass Sayings: “Well I Never!”

Sometimes when an elderly woman sees you urinating in the front of a Red Lobster she says “WELL I NEVER!” You never what? Finish your sentences? This is just a flat out dumbass thing to say. I had to look it up and apparently if you say “Well I never” then that’s supposed to mean “Well I have never heard/seen something so (insulting, shocking, etc.) in my life!” Okay well that’s obviously a lie. If you’re so accustomed to saying something that you don’t even bother to finish the sentence then that clearly means you say it quite a lot and in this case that means you have seen or heard very shocking and insulting things before. Because of that, I would highly doubt seeing me publically urinate is top on that list. You’re lying, old lady. The truth is you go around being shocked and appalled all the time which is basically the opposite of “never.”

When you look like this, odds are a lot of things offend you.

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