Ask McFartnuggets: “If I’m Dating a Short Girl Will People Assume I Have a Small Pecker?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I started dating this chick who’s only two foot four and I get a lot of strange looks in public. I’m six foot two. I don’t really mind because I really like this girl, however I can’t help to think that part of the reason they’re looking at me weird is because they think I have a small pecker. Is this what people are thinking? -- Noah from Peoria, Illinois

Dear Noah:
It’s possible. To be frank, when people see a six foot tall person dating a two foot tall person they’re going to stare at you just off the initial visual of the height discrepancy. That’s what catches people’s attention first. When they start thinking about what it’s like when you bang then that’s when the thoughts of your genitals probably enter people’s minds. If they’re still staring after a few minutes they’re probably imagining how you have intercourse and they’re working through the physics of that. Most people will ignorantly assume that a man who dates a woman the size of Verne Troyer is some kind of freak or has a microwang. They just don’t understand true love knows no height. You shouldn’t pay these people any mind. They’re going to think whatever their sick minds want to think and you can’t change that. You can only pity them!

Another gender double standard. If they were dating NO ONE would assume her vagina was tiny.

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