1.17.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Stabbing Pain”

Sometimes when your Uncle Pete describes his kidney stones to you he says “It’s a like a stabbing pain right here!” I happen to know my Uncle Pete has never actually been stabbed by anyone. People always describe pain as “Stabbing pain” like they even know what it’s like to be stabbed. Some people even describe pain “Like lightning bolts.” You don’t know what it’s like to be struck by lightning. Stop acting like you’ve experienced these things. It’s okay though because most people don’t know what it’s like to be stabbed or struck by lightning. Those who do are usually either dead or don’t remember because the lightning fucked their brain up. Liken the pains you feel to actual pains you’ve felt like your wife leaving you or succumbing to your alcoholism yet again after 5 whole years of sobriety THEN maybe I can hear what you’re saying and believe you.  


Don't speak on things you don't know about.

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