1.16.2015

Dumbass Slogans: “The Best Part of Waking Up is Folgers in Your Cup”

Folgers has the classic slogan “The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.” It’s a nice slogan and it’s very successful despite the fact that it’s complete horseshit. Of course the best part of waking up isn’t Folgers in your cup. How sad is your life when the best part of waking up is drinking coffee? And not just coffee, but specifically Folgers! Don’t get me wrong, Folgers is “aight” as the young people say, but if the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup I don’t even want to see what would happen if you tried a nice high quality imported coffee. That would probably just blow your mind into a million pieces. The best part of waking up should be the gratification of having the chance at another day of life on this planet. The best part of waking up should be your family. Even if you have no family, the best part of waking up should be your interests and hobbies. You’d have to be insanely addicted to caffeine and be very narrow minded to believe the best part of waking up is Folgers. If the best part of your waking up truly is Folgers then there’s a good chance you’re suicidal and that’s not the right message to attach to a product no matter what it is.

As you get older you realize merely waking up is the best part.

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