1.19.2015

Ask McFartnuggets: “What Does The Teardrop on a Clown’s Face Mean?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
There’s a clown who is a street performer in my town and he’s very worrisome. One particularly alarming feature he has is a teardrop painted on his face. I’ve been told this means he’s killed someone in prison. Is that true? -- Marion from Miami, Florida

Dear Marion:
It’s possible that’s what it means, but it is more likely that this is just a sad clown. Some clowns are constantly crying on the inside despite wearing a painted on smile. However because they are clowns, they don’t have normal functioning human tear ducts. When was the last time you saw a clown actually crying? Pretty much never, right? You would remember something that disturbing. In order to communicate that they are tragic clowns they must paint a tear drop under their eye. Why do they do it? Why does anyone ever write or draw anything on their body? They’re emotionally troubled. Also sometimes you just want people to know things about you without having to expend the energy explaining it with words or actions. That’s the whole point of clown makeup. Sure any jackass can just walk around acting like a clown, but without the makeup it’s not nearly as effective. The teardrop is part of that makeup. Capisce?

Most clowns don't kill, but when you're in jail you gotta do what ya gotta do.

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