Ask McFartnuggets: “Is My Grandfather Slowly Becoming a Woman?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Help me Binkie! I think my grandpa is becoming transgendered. He’s starting to look like Bruce Jenner and it’s really scary. I don’t know why this is happening but the past few years he’s started wearing his hair in a ponytail and acting all fruity. He used to be a very tough looking guy. Now he’s almost 80 and becoming more and more transgender with each passing month! What the hell is going on here? -- Nicky from Beaumont, Texas

Dear Nicky:
I don’t think your grandpa is “becoming transgendered.” What you’re witnessing is completely natural and normal. All men basically become women as they get older. Have you seen Paul McCartney lately? When you become an elderly man you lose testosterone naturally and you generally become more cranky because you’ve got all sorts of aches and health concerns. It’s like you’re on a permanent period which is known as “MANopause.” That’s the odd thing about aging, men and women almost sort of become the same thing because our sex organs shut down and close up shop. Once that’s happened there’s really no point in having a gender identity aside from the fact you know no other way to live. This is also why you see a lot of gruff elderly women with goatees who seem a lot like men. It’s just how things work.

The older you get the harder it is to live up to people's definition of a "man."

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