Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s The Best Way To Get Ass Hair Out Of Your Teeth?”

"Good god is that an ASS HAIR?!"
Dear McFartnuggets:
“Long story short, I’ve got an ass hair stuck between my teeth and a dentist appointment tomorrow. I need to get this sumbitch out of my mouth before the dentist sees this and makes my cleaning more awkward than it usually is. What should I do?! -- Bartholomew from New York

Dear Bartholomew:
Wow. An ass hair! You’re right, you’re going to need to get that out of your teeth before you go anywhere near a dentist. Now I’ve never had an ass hair in my teeth before, but I can say the best way to get any short curly hair from your teeth is to use tweezers. I’m assuming you already tried that which means the hair is lodged in one of your back teeth which again, is mindboggling. I don’t even want to know how it got there all I can say is YIKES.

You might be thinking you can rinse your mouth out with Lye (sodium hydroxide). While this would probably destroy the hair, you risk burning your mouth and causing some damage there. If I were you I would just go at it with a strong tweezer. You can also try floss, though that could just jam it down farther and embed it into the gums. Try the tweezers first, floss second, and then if you’ve got no other choice just go into the dentist and say you just came from Taco Bell or someplace the dentist could assume the ass hair came from. Good luck!

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and keep ass hairs out of your teeth!

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