The Top 5 Best Addictions To Have

The media always portrays addictions as bad things that are always harmful. Addiction means being enslaved to an activity or behavior that harms us, but sometimes those addictions can actually do more good than harm. Here are the top 5 addictions in the world:

5. Learning
The addiction to learning is what’s lead to the technological advances we see today. If you have a kid it’s very important to get them thirsty for knowledge. Introduce them to the high of a book. Hopefully they’ll get hooked and won’t be able to go a day without a hit. Before you know it they’ll be spending all their time in “book dens” shooting up like the junkies they are.

If we weren't so addicted to learning these ridiculous hand crank brain pumps some French guy thought of while he was high might actually be real today.

4. Pooping
Most living people are addicted to pooping and it’s a good thing too because it’s a natural high you need for a healthy lifestyle. The only negative to getting high from pooping occurs if you lose control and your body goes through withdrawals in public.

Maybe if people realized the benefits to poop, my neighbors wouldn't get so mad about me fertilizing their lawns.

3. Fear
Being addicted to fear keeps you away from dangerous situations. No fear addict has ever been eaten by a tiger at the zoo before. If you’re high on fear then you don’t go anywhere near a zoo or circus because you know those animals would like nothing better than to murder you viciously. People who keep their bodies free of fear are the ones who end up taking crazy risks and die in base jumping accidents.

Our addiction to fear keeps us from hanging out with idiots who have spider puppets.

2. Sun
If you want to live a normal life on this planet you have to be addicted to sun. If you aren’t hooked on sun your whole body goes nuts. Your sleep cycles will be thrown into disarray and you will likely suffer a vitamin D deficiency. One of the major negatives to other addictions like meth and heroin are that most users shy away from the Sun. When was the last time you saw someone on a beach chair soaking up the sun and shooting up heroin?

The Sun is a million times more dangerous than bath salts, yet which would you rather be addicted to?

1. Thought
Being addicted to thinking is what drives most people to progress through life. It’s more important than learning because before you can even start getting high on learning you need to be hooked on thought. Thought is the gateway addiction for everything else in life, including crack.

Without an addiction to thought, we'd never ask ourselves "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

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