3.18.2014

The Top 5 BEST Excuses For Being Late To Work

When it comes to showing up late to work, there’s really no such thing as a good excuse. If you want some really bad ones you can read THIS. But, if you’re looking for good ones then here are the top 5 best excuses for showing up late to work:


5. “I was hosting a charity event.”
If this is true it’s a great excuse. The only problem is most people will know you’re lying, after all how many charity events occur at 8 AM?

"Sorry I couldn't make it on time, I was busy breastfeeding five naked orphans."


4. “My wife gave birth.”
The one of the only unfortunate things about this excuse is you have to wait 9 months AT LEAST before using it again. Then the other is having to come up with 5 to 10 children if your boss ever comes over for dinner.

That doesn't look comfortable for anyone.


3. “I had to take my nana to the hospital.”
Everyone has or had a nana so they’ll usually sympathize with you on this. If you’re lying this may jinx your nana, but let’s face it she’s going to be gone soon regardless of your karmic actions.

Yes my grandmother is very scary looking.


2. “I was in a car accident.”
No one’s going to blame you for being late if you were in a car accident, even if the accident was your fault. I suppose that’s the beauty of this excuse. If you’re running late and you definitely can’t be late it’s probably a good idea to crash into something (preferably not people) that way you have a good excuse for being late.

If you got in an accident because you were totally wasted, it's probably a good idea to not even show up to work that day.


1. “I was late because I was busy buying donuts for everyone.”
In today’s obese society, being late because you were buying donuts for everyone is a great excuse. People might be pissed off that you didn’t show up on time, but when you pull out that big ass box of fried dough they just lose their minds and all is forgiven.

Everyone bows to the almighty doughnut. You could kill someone's mother, if you show up with donuts they'll be slightly less mad.

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