|What better way to start the day than|
by putting a bomb in your stomach?
As the world knows by now, Taco Bell is introducing a new breakfast menu. Apparently, the success of Subway’s breakfast menu has led the Taco Bell people to think this is a good idea. What’s next? KFC and Pizza Hut offering breakfast? No, certain foods are just not meant to be eaten in the mornings. We all know the deal with Taco Bell, it turns your stomach into a lava lamp full of diarrhea. That’s no way to start off a day. It might be an acceptable way to slide into defeat at the end of a night, but it’s no way to start a day. When people want to fuel up for a big day they’re not talking about anal rocket fuel. If you have Taco Bell for breakfast you’ll wind up spending your entire lunch break in the bathroom. Eating Taco Bell for breakfast is like waking up immediately playing Russian Roulette with your butthole. Why take that risk? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a reason, it’s the one meal we can all trust. Breakfast consists of constant staples like eggs, pancakes, and cereal for a reason. You don’t want to try new things for breakfast because nothing ruins your morning commute like a massive shart. Dinner is when you get to eat lots of weird different stuff because it doesn’t matter if you have liquidy stools when you’re not at work. That’s part of the fun of not being at work, you’re the boss of yourself. But as long as you need to spend your day at work it’s probably not a good idea to give control of your day to the fluid poop wildcard that is Taco Bell.