Ask McFartnuggets: “Would You Rather Be A Blind Dragon Or A Talking Rat?”

A blind dragon couldn't use
a seeing-eye dog. It would
probably run away.
Dear McFartnuggets: If you could only choose between being a blind dragon or talking rat, which would you be? -- Sera from Vermont

Dear Sera:
That’s a tough one. Being a dragon is obviously awesome, but if you can’t see then you can’t really enjoy it. You’d constantly be setting people on fire by accident with your fire breath and you’d be flying around, but without seeing anything which is a lot of the fun of flying. Plus if you can’t see while you’re flying you could hit a plane and end up killing dozens upon dozens of people including yourself. Meanwhile, if you’re a talking rat it sucks that you’re a rat, but you’d definitely make news headlines and become famous. Stuart Little was a really cool dude who lived a decent life full of adventure. Then again, he was a mouse, not a rat, and people hate rats slightly more than mice. I think I would choose to be the talking rat because while that’s a downgrade from what I am right now, a talking person, it’s not worth losing my vision to become a dragon. As long as I stayed clean and wore nice little tiny suits people would get over the negative stereotypes about rats and I could have my own talk show on Animal Planet or something. Thanks for that incredibly ridiculous question, Sera.

Keep the questions coming to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

No comments :

Post a Comment