3.14.2014

The Top 5 Worst Named “Restaurants” That Are Still In Business Today

When it comes to naming a restaurant it’s usually good to give your business an appetizing name. When people say the name it should make them hungry like “Savory Bacon Palace”. Oddly enough, very few restaurants actually follow this common sense advice. Most fast food restaurants have generic names like “White Castle” or “McDonald’s”. While those aren’t delicious sounding names they certainly aren’t too bad. Unfortunately, some restaurants chose pretty bad names and even worse they’re still selling food to this day. Here are the top 5 worst named restaurants around:

5. Taco Bell
Do people ever wonder what this name means? Is it a bell made of tacos? Is it a bell people ring to alert others of the presence of tacos? I think it’s a thinly veiled reference to Pavlov’s dog experiment which is fitting considering dog meat might actually be in the damn tacos for all anyone knows.

More like "Defecate Mas"

4. Cracker Barrel
Very few major restaurant chains have racial slurs right in the name like Cracker Barrel. Could you imagine a restaurant using any other racial slur like that? Even if it was referring to crackers the snack food, that still doesn’t make sense. Who fills a barrel of crackers? A giant parrot who’s also a hoarder?

How dare they use the C-word!

3. Five Guys
“Five Guys” would be an acceptable name for any other type of business, but not a restaurant. It’s hard to ever get respect from people at work when you annouce “I need Five Guys in my mouth right now! I need that greasy meat in my mouth!” They might not know you’re talking about hamburgers and before you know it you have to find another job.

Don't you love the way Five Guys just explodes with flavor on your tongue?

2. Joe’s Crab Shack
“Joe’s Crab Shack” sounds like some place homeless pirates go to get pubic lice. Not exactly the most appetizing visual around.

Eating in a shack is bad enough, but don't mention crabs on top of it.

1. Subway
Subway is by far the most successful “restaurant” with an awful name. I don’t know what moron would decide to name their food business after a place full of rats and hobo crack addicts urinating everywhere. When you say “Subway” the first thing I think is Hepatitis. That’s not exactly “eating fresh.”

I guess there might be similarities between Subway restaurant and an actual subway. For instance I swear I saw a puddle of ranch dressing on a subway seat the other day.

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