2.18.2014

3 Important Things You Must Do To Protect Yourself From Winter Weather

Winter storms aren’t considered as dangerous as summer hurricanes, but they are still very deadly and people need to take proper precautions to stay safe.

1. Walk Around With A Snow Shovel
It makes a lot of sense to walk around with your own snow shovel after a big snowfall. If you come up to a street corner with a giant blob of slush you can scoop it out of your way to avoid slipping. You can also use it as a walking stick to gain leverage in really snowy areas. And lastly it’s a good self defense tool. If you’ve seen “Home Alone” you know no one messes with someone who walks around with a snow shovel.

There are way more reasons to walk around with a snow shovel than there are to NOT walk around with a snow shovel.


2. Wear A Nose Covering
Wearing a ski mask can be overkill and cause awkward situations when you walk into a bank or convenience store. The most important thing to cover up on your face is your nose because that’s where viruses can enter the easiest. I recommend wearing those glasses with the fake plastic nose and mustache because it gives you nasal coverage as well as warmth on your upper lip. The mustache can also act as a mop to soak up any excessive mucus you might be leaking.

Keeping the nose covered is most important.


3. Protect Your Head
One very serious danger that few people think about during severe winter weather is falling ice. If you live in an area that has tall buildings it’s very important to be aware of the risk of deadly falling ice. That’s why I recommend wearing a sturdy helmet when you’re out in a winter storm and even after a storm when there is icy buildup on roofs and the sun is out which can break chunks of ice off and turn them into falling death rocks. Sure you’ll look kind of goofy and people will point at you, but who do you think looks goofier, you with your motorcycle helmet on with no motorcycle, or the guy who just got the crown of his skull impaled by a giant ice dagger from an apartment building roof? If you’re not the kind of person who likes wearing a helmet you can always fashion an umbrella out of steel. Getting a steel umbrella can be pretty difficult, you may have to make your own or have someone with welding experience fashion one for you. You might look stupid, but when that ice starts falling and cracking people’s heads open you’re going to look like a genius. Your kids might complain about how kids at school are making fun of them for wearing helmets and using steel umbrellas, but you tell them it’s the other kids who are stupid because their parents must not value the contents of their craniums highly enough to protect them with ice helmets and makeshift metal umbrella devices.

You've got two choices: Walk around looking like an equestrian with no horse OR have your skull split open by a chunk of ice falling at terminal velocity.

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