Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My Grandma Still Use Tampons?”

Vaginas don't know what year it is.
Dear McFartnuggets:
I was visiting my grandmother the other day and I noticed in her garbage disposal was what appeared to be a used tampon. My grandmother is 75 years old. This is disturbing me greatly. Is this normal?  -- Gerald T. from Richmond, Virginia

Dear Gerald:
Wow! That’s great! I guess… I actually looked it up and there is no Guinness World Record for “oldest period”. Why? I have no idea. That to me seems like something a woman should definitely get an award for. They’ll give a world record to some idiot who can juggle the most bowling pins on a unicycle but not a woman damn near 80 who’s still menstruating. That’s baffling to me!

I don’t know why you’re disturbed. You should be proud and glad that your grandmother is healthy and doing well. If her vagina had already closed up shop and retired for good I would start to be worried, but it seems like she’s a very vibrant young lady. I wish you two all the best!

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and please be patient I’m trying to answer as fast as I can!

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