Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Pretend To Be Gay To Get Women?”

God's trying to tell you something
about your father, Timmy.
Dear McFartnuggets:
Is it a good strategy to pretend to be gay to get women? My friend said he tried it and it let him get really close to a lot of girls who wanted to make him straight. Should I try it? -- Jim from Winnepeg, Canada

Dear Jim:
That’s a decent strategy to get women, but it will only work on a certain kind of woman. A regular woman won’t care that you’re acting gay. The best you’ll get is dinner, a slumber party and a tickle fight. You have to go after super religious women who would love nothing more than to turn a homosexual straight so they can get an automatic pass to heaven. If you’re into chicks like that then it’s a great move. The main problem is some of these women can be a little different mentally than the average person. But if you’re willing to put up with that for the sex then it’s basically foolproof. The tricky part is convincing people you’re gay which can be as easy as listening to the Backstreet Boys loudly on your iPod and as difficult as sitting through one of those romantic comedies named after a holiday and acting like you’re enjoying it. Some people might consider this dishonest and shameful behavior, but hey if the woman gets the confidence booster of seemingly turning a gay man straight and you get what you want then no one really gets hurt. You may have to travel to a new town every few months to keep doing this as religious communities are usually close knit and word will spread about you so it’s tricky to pull it off twice in the same area. You can claim to have had a “relapse” of homosexuality which they could believe, but you lose credibility the more times you use that excuse. Good luck!

Send any questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

No comments :

Post a Comment