5. Soup kitchen
It’s very important to instill a love for philanthropy and charitable works in a child at a young age. Most parents don’t do this, which I would have to believe is why the world is in such a state of disrepair. If you can invite clowns and have balloons and make volunteering at a soup kitchen fun then everyone wins! The kids win, the homeless win, and the world at large wins a little bit too.
|Serving soup is a fun time for all!|
Why is it you never see children skydiving? Is there some law against it? Probably. That being said if skydiving was truly dangerous why would it be legal at all? Clearly it’s safe so kids should be able to participate. Sure it might get a little weird finding a tandem instructor for them to dive with, but just stay on the safe side and let them dive with a woman. Easy solution.
|All children want to fly and this is actually the safest way to try it.|
3. Bungee jumping
If you want to be the coolest parent on the block you’ll have bungee jumping at your next children’s birthday party. Let me tell you this, when your kid experiences the thrill of bungee jumping it’ll be that much harder for them to waste their time with video games or other childish activities. Sure there’s the risk they might get into more dangerous things like skeleton luging and base jumping, but hey at least those are physical activities. We have to keep our children from being obese. When was the last time you saw an obese base jumper?
|Just make sure the cord is tight enough around their tiny ankles.|
So you want to combined the excitement of extreme sports like skydiving with the classic fun of a petting zoo? The answer is bullriding! Yes it is a tad dangerous, but you obviously get a smaller bull for the little kids. Then on top of that you can have a little midget rodeo clown running around. It’s fun for the whole family. Truly an experience you’ll never forget, unless you get thrown off a bull headlong into a steel gate. Then odds are, remembering things is not going to be your strong suit.
|Kids love rides, clowns, and animals so clearly combining the three is awesome for them.|
1. Competitive eating
The keys to any great kids party are candy, cake, and games. So what better game than a competitive eating challenge? First off, it’ll make the fat kids feel special and that’s very important. Second, who knows? You might discover the next Joey Chestnut or Kobayashi. If you find a good enough eating prospect you can sign on to be their agent and end up with a very lucrative career which is what your child would want because he loves you.
|Worst case scenario some kid barfs and it becomes a fun story to tell while you're looking for a corpse.|