Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come Sometimes I Go To Sleep Hungry And Wake Up Not Hungry?”

That's about 2,000 calories right there!
Dear McFartnuggets:
How come sometimes I will go to sleep with an empty stomach really hungry and when I wake up I’m not hungry anymore? It’s so weird. What is going on there? -- Nancy from Valdosta, Georgia

Dear Nancy:
I too have experienced this and I think the answer may be very disturbing to you. One morning I woke up completely full after going to bed with my stomach growling. Then as I walked to the bathroom to take my morning dump I saw a giant spider web in the corner of my bedroom floor. The spider that normally lived there was gone. I never saw him after that so I can only assume the sucker crawled into my mouth while I was sleeping and I ate him.

Sure it’s gross and likely an additional cause of morning breath, but it’s harmless. The way I see it, it gets rid of a pest and cures your hunger. As long as I’m not conscious to experience it fully then that’s fine in my book. If this really creeps you out you might want to take a look around for spider webs, loose crickets, praying mantises, house centipedes, etc. Anything that might crawl into your mouth in the middle of the night in a horrific manner. These are likely your unknown midnight snacks. Thanks for the question and sleep tight!

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