3.03.2014

The Top 5 WORST Ways To Lose Weight of All Time

Weight loss is a huge industry in America so naturally Americans are inundated with thousands of different ways to lose weight and even more scam offers. It’s imperative to know which methods are legitimate because losing weight means nothing if it’s done the wrong way.The five weight loss methods I will list here will definitely help you lose weight, but perhaps at too high of a cost:


5. Smoking
Most chain smokers find they lose weight when they quit smoking, but that doesn’t mean you should take up smoking in order to lose weight. Basically you lose weight because it’s killing you. It’s like losing weight by getting cancer. It’s not worth it.

Smoking is a great way to lose body fat, if you want to look like this.

4. Boot Camp
A lot of people join boot camp in order to lose weight because they need to be forced to exercise. Unfortunately there’s a mental aspect to it as well which is where most people have problems. Boot camp can be hard enough for athletic people to cope with emotionally so imagine what it’s like for someone who has a borderline romantic relationship to ice cream.

It didn't work out too great in "Full Metal Jacket" either.

3. Going to jail
Going to jail seems like a great way to lose weight from the initial resisting arrest, to the structured meal schedule, to the great motivation to exercise to avoid being assaulted by fellow inmates. But jail isn’t a recommended weight loss method because of what it takes to get there. Don’t be selfish and ruin other people’s lives just to improve yours.

Running from potential rapists is not the best way to burn calories.

2. Heroin
You rarely see obese heroin addicts, but as the passing of Phillip Seymour Hoffman showed, heroin is incredibly dangerous and also it won’t make you extremely thin. It’s more of a coincidence that you don’t see fat heroin addicts because the high of bacon is basically neck and neck with heroin for most folks.


The key is portion control.

1. Meth
Methamphetamines are a proven way to lose weight fast, but it’s just not worth the danger. While it’s true nearly all meth addicts are skinny you have to remember that some of that weight loss is from losing teeth and most of it comes from running through the woods terrified about being chased by invisible spider demons.

Satan's windows are made out of Crystal Meth. Did you know that? That's not a good sign.

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