Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can A Woman Participate In Movember?”

Movember isn't just for
the freakshows anymore.
Dear McFartnuggets: “I love the idea of Movember where people grow mustaches to raise awareness for Cancer but since I’m a woman I get a very negative reaction. Is there any way I can raise awareness for Cancer without being seen as a freakish bearded lady?” -- Deanna from San Francisco

Dear Deanna:
That’s sad to hear. You’d think a woman with a mustache would raise more awareness than anything else, but I suppose the world isn’t ready for that yet. Fortunately I think there are a lot of different ways you can get into the spirit of Movember as a woman and still effectively raise awareness for Cancers. For instance you can stop waxing your eyebrows and legs. Maybe you can even stop shaving your armpits. Then when someone stops to ask you what the hell your problem is you can say “Oh, I’m doing this for Movember. I’m raising awareness for Prostate Cancer! Make sure to get yourself checked!” Do you seriously think a guy who sees your hairy ass armpits is not going to remember that a lady with one eyebrow and bushy thighs told him to get his prostate checked? It will probably haunt him in his nightmares. That might seem unpleasant, but guess what? Mission accomplished. When he ends up with a finger up his ass and the doctor finds a polyp he’s going to be so grateful you had the balls to grow out your socially unacceptable hair to raise awareness for Cancer. Good luck and godspeed, Deanna.

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