Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Clowns So Scary?”

Nothing scary about that
cold dead stare!
Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it that some people find clowns so frightening? I quite enjoy clowns, they’re a bit of fun. They’re only trying to make people laugh. Why do people despise them so? -- Donna from London

Dear Donna:
I think most people fear clowns when they’re not smiling or trying to be funny. If they’re making people laugh and acting goofy there’s nothing wrong with a clown. However, when a clown is just staring at you blankfaced and not breaking eye contact then that’s a problem. The important thing people need to understand is clowns aren’t scary. They’re creepy. There’s a subtle difference. If anything I would say mimes are scarier than clowns because they lack color and any element of fun that a clown has, plus they’re mute. Their intentions are entirely unknown. A clown can at least express to you what he or she is feeling or wants you to feel whether that’s happy, sad, or even terrified, but a mime? A mime is trained to say anything they need to with just a cold long stare into your soul speaking with a universal language in which words are meaningless: true horror. Mimes aren’t even there to make you laugh either. They’re just there with no real mission statement. They’re pretending to be trapped in a box. Who needs that? No one, that’s who. Thanks for the question, Donna!

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