Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Doesn’t Taco Bell Give Me Diarrhea?”

This is the match. Your ass is the fuse.
Dear McFartnuggets:
Taco Bell has a great reputation for giving people crazy diarrhea, but whenever I eat it I never get diarrhea afterward. Is there something wrong with me? Do I have a super stomach? -- Clem from Mobile, Alabama

Dear Clem:
Perhaps you’re not eating enough Taco Bell. Sure anyone can have a single grilled stuft burrito and not shit flames, but try eating three, plus a box of tacos, and a Mexican pizza and then wash it down with blue Mountain Dew. I’m sorry, you could be an alien who eats nothing but lava everyday and that will make feces rocket out of your ass faster than Superman’s heat vision. The reason Taco Bell does this is because it’s not real food. It’s some weird amalgam of beef, horse, pink slime, and filler. The human body was not designed to process this stuff. It’s not a matter of will Taco Bell give me diarrhea, it’s a matter of WHEN.

This is your digestive system...

This is your digestive system on Taco Bell. Tiene preguntas?
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