The 5 Worst Musical Instruments To Play Before And During Romance

When you think of what musical instruments are typically associated with human intercourse you think of the electric bass guitar, the saxophone, and maybe even the drums. However, not all instruments are a suitable mix for romance. Here are the top 5 musical instruments you never want to play before or during romance:

5. Banjo
Banjo music will always be associated with the film “Deliverance” and inbred country freaks who force grown men to squeal like pigs in their underwear. As long as that’s true it’s best to leave the banjo out of your romantic life.

What works for Steve Martin doesn't work for most people.

4. Accordion
Accordions are a bulky instrument that play wacky polka music. Polka isn’t the best accompaniment for intercourse. I mean I enjoy it, but most women get really freaked out by it for some reason.

Musical instrument or box with a live animal inside?

3. Harmonica
Some women have been known to be able to play a harmonica with their vaginas, but the music still isn’t that great. Now if a vagina could play a harmonica like Blues Traveler or Bob Dylan then that’d be something else.

You'd think that blowing a mouth organ would be conducive to romance, but you'd be wrong.

2. Tuba
Even though a lot of women seem to think size matters in the bedroom that doesn’t mean the enormous tuba has any place there. What are some good tuba songs anyway? No one gets turned on by tuba music.

Not the best people to have in the room while you're making love.

1. Bagpipes
Bagpipes are typically reserved for funeral music these days. If there’s one thing you don’t want your date to end up resembling it’s a funeral. Some people compare the sound of bagpipes to murdering a cat. That’s definitely not the sound you want people thinking is coming from your bedroom during intercourse.

Early bagpipes were made out of ox and seal stomachs which are things you should never have involved in your romantic life.

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