Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Men Dogs or Cats?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Guys are always saying “Hey dog, what’s up dog?” But they also say “Hey check out that cat. That’s a cool cat!” Which is it then? How can men be dogs and cats? Dogs and cats are seen as opposites. Aren’t women usually compared to cats? Why would men be called cats when cats are also pussies? How did that become a thing to call a man? Are men some sort of catdog like that Nickelodeon cartoon? How do they take a shit? -- Angelina from Tucson, Arizona

Dear Angelina:
Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on there you’re getting carried away. Men call each other all kinds of weird shit that can’t be taken seriously. Whether a man is called “dog” or “cat” really just depends on who’s calling them that. For example, someone from da hood is more likely to call a man “dog” whereas someone in a jazz lounge is likely to call a man “cat.” Calling a man a cat used to be more prevalent in the 1920’s onward up until the past few decades. Somewhere along the line men stopped being called cats and switched over to dogs. One thing I’ve noticed is most people who call someone either a dog or cat are generally the type of people who do drugs. If you’re the type of person who has never done drugs before then you’ve probably never referred to someone as “dog” or “cat” or even called a woman a “fox.” When we do drugs sometimes it can distort our perception to see past the veil of human flesh and interpret people’s behaviors as more animalistic. Therefore an aggressive, dangerous person, who has the confidence to just defecate on a sidewalk is considered dog-like and someone who is very relaxed and doesn’t give a shit about anything is considered cat-like. These two groups of characteristics are not mutually exclusive which is why you see the overlap in people calling men both cats and dogs. Hope that helps!

It takes effort to be a cool cat, but anyone can be a dirty dog.

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