Dumbass Sayings: “Nothing Could Be Further From The Truth”

Sometimes when you confront your significant other about the used condom you found under your pillow the look on her face is like “Oh shit…” But she claims she’s not cheating and that “Nothing could be further from the truth!” Okay, even if by some chance you’re not cheating and that condom was one of mine that I forgot about months ago, didn’t notice, and it somehow stayed moist this whole time… Of course there are things that are farther from the truth than that! I’m a Victorian Era ham sandwich who speaks fluent German and Mars is full of Danny DeVito clones who dance the Nutcracker Suite on an infinite loop while rubbing cottage cheese on their breasts. Could that sentence be just a little farther from the truth than the idea of you cheating on me? Because if it’s not then I’m very worried about what we’re going to find on Mars in future exploratory missions there.

The furthest thing from the truth is belief.

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