5.15.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “Past The Point of No Return”

Sometimes when you wake up in a hotel bed next to a dead prostitute you panic and in your panic you decide to roll the body up in bed sheets and sneak it out into the trunk of your car. Once you roll the body up and call your grandma for help she says “Don’t call me again. You’re past the point of no return.” I think this saying might make sense if it was “Past the point of return.” The whole idea is that you’re PAST the point where return is no longer possible. If you’re currently at the point of return then that means you can still return, but as soon as you pass that, return is no longer a possibility. So you’d be past the point of return. I don’t know what the hell the point of no return is. The point of no return would have to be the very exact point after you’ve exited the point of return. If you’re past the point of no return then that means no return is no longer possible because you’re past that point. This saying is at best redundant and at worst wrong. It’s kind of like how flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. It’s just confusing and people need to start using the proper version of this to help make language more efficient and less ridiculous. Once you’ve decided to try and hide the hooker’s body, you are past the point of return. If you say that to someone there’s no mistaking you’re in trouble. It literally means you are beyond the ability to rewind time and bring the hooker back to life.

Usually by the time you've rented the wood chipper it's too late.

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