Ask McFartnuggets: “If Today Was Your Last Day Would You Forgive Your Enemies?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late would you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last or try to tap some candy ass? Would you forgive your enemies? If today was your last day? -- Damon from Tahoe City, California

Dear Damon:
What? If today was my last day alive would I forgive my enemies? No, that seems like a horrible use of my last day. Why would I spend my last day alive on the phone calling up enemies trying to patch things up? I really don’t care what they think of me, that’s why they’re enemies. Even if you think it’s necessary to not die without any hard feelings left between yourself and other people, I think your last day should be spent with family and friends. You should definitely be too concerned with your loved ones to be worrying about saying goodbye to enemies. That is insanely stupid. What if you take ten minutes of your last couple hundred minutes alive to call some asshole who tried to kill you once and he starts laughing when you tell him you’re dying. Wow that was a great use of my time. Glad I did that! See what I’m talking about? Thanks for the question though.

If everyone simply ignored their enemies that would probably solve every problem ever.

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