Ask McFartnuggets: “What Makes Poop Look Brown?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’ve always wondered why is poop colored brown? Who decided this? Why wasn’t I consulted? I think I would have preferred to make it purple or a turquoise color. What is with this brown? Always dull and brown! Why?! -- Cleo from Los Angeles, California

Dear Lorraine:
You can blame Bilirubin for the brownness of your feces. Bilirubin is a bile pigment that is created when red blood cells are broken down. 99% of the body’s total Bilirubin production exits the body in the sausages of poo your body creates. Bilirubin also adds a delightful background shade to urine and is responsible for the yellow coloring of bruises. Also, anyone who’s ever played with crayons or markers knows when you mix up all different colors it ends up coming out brown. So if you’re eating a bunch of different colored foods that’s gonna end up being brown after it’s mixed together with the stomach acids plus Bilirubin. Also you have to take into account that a lot of foods people eat are already brown like meat and beans. If you eat a loaf of rye bread what color are you expecting to come out of your asshole? The color brown represents merging and mixing which is exactly what is involved in the body’s creation of feces. Hope that answers your question.

What can bilirubin do for you?

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