Dumbass Sayings: “Hep”

Sometimes you’ll be making love to a circus clown at a petting zoo and she goes “Just so you know I have Hep B.” Apparently this is how people say they have “Hepatitis” these days and I think it’s wrong. You can’t just give a virus a cute short nickname like that. Do I go around telling people I have Gon and Syph? No, it’s better to say the full word so people know it’s an issue. If you just shorten the word to three letters it makes it sound like no big deal. I guess people think if they shorten their problems to only three letters then they almost won’t exist anymore. Oh big whoop I just have some genny herps with a sprinkle of Pubie Crabs. No, I believe that the only time you should be able to shorten the name of a virus or disease is in the case of HIV and AIDS. We call it HIV so we don’t have to say Human Immunodeficiency Virus which is eleven syllables. Hepatitis is only four syllables with an extra to tack on the letter you have. It’s a little clunky to say but it’s much less of a mouthful than HIV and you don’t want a mouthful of HIV!

Just got some of that Hep jaundice, no biggie. Just a lil' Heppy J.

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