5.25.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “To Die For”

Sometimes you’ll be making small talk with some fat guy at a deli and he says “You gotta try my grandmother’s veal! My grandmother’s veal is to die for!” I don’t understand this phrase at all. What is the point in that? If you DIE you can’t enjoy what you’re talking about, because you’re dead. Okay let me die for your grandmother’s veal. Great… How does that help me exactly? Am I dying so that she can continue serving the veal? Why is that something I have to do? She’s your grandma! If you want to die for her veal then that’s great, but leave me the hell out of the veal martyrdom game. Almost nothing besides your loved ones are to die for. The ultimate sign of love is that you would die for someone. You would die to give your child more life. So when you say some shit like “These gummi worms are to die for” you’re really diminishing the level of love meant when you say something is to die for.

To a baby cow, your grandma's veal literally is to die for.

No comments :

Post a Comment