Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Safe to Dye My Pubic Hair While I’m Pregnant?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I recently discovered I’m pregnant and it was a huge surprise. I’m not the kind of person who wants kids and one sign of that is I like to dye my pubes blue. I’ve always liked the look of it, I think it’s interesting and unique, but now I’m thinking maybe I should stop dying my crotch now that the baby is on the way. Is there any science to show that dying pubes is bad for a developing fetus? -- Tiffani from Yonkers, New York

Dear Tiffani:
Studies have not shown that hair dye causes any problems to a fetus, however those tests were presumably done with hair dye on the HEAD. I doubt they tested the effects of hair dye on pubic hair and that effect on a fetus. It’s best to be safe and just stop dying your pubes til the baby flies out. If I had to guess I’d say it might be hazardous considering you’re applying the hair dye to the baby’s front door. Also, why even bother with dying your pubes anymore? You’re going to be a mother. You definitely don’t want the baby coming through stained beef curtains looking like the newest member of the Blue Man Group.

It's probably best to keep harsh chemicals away from your genitalia regardless.

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