Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Today’s People So Antisocial?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I think humans have lost their connection with other people these days. People always want to be alone and they watch hardcore porn closed off in their homes like hermits. I remember a time when there used to be movie theaters that would play hardcore pornos and people would watch them together. It was a communal experience and it helped people bond together as a society. You look to the side and see another person masturbating to the same thing you’re masturabting to and it’s a powerful experience. We’ve lost a lot of that in recent years. We’re drifting too far away from each other in today’s society. Why is this happening? -- Steve from Long Island, New York

Dear Steve:
Well maybe people were bonded together by the semen. No, I’m just kidding. I think part of the problem is people are more of STDs and other viral transmissions that can occur between people in large groups. Also, with the advent of the internet you can gain instant access to all the hardcore porn you want along with nearly every other thing so there’s no longer a reason to ever look at another living person. I think it’s amazing that people still bother interacting at all. The fact of the matter is not much good comes from people assembled together. Most of the time when people gather up in big groups there’s a riot or a dictator making a speech. The few times people assemble in positive ways it’s just to counteract some previous tragedy or to fight against negativity that people started themselves. If you want to watch porno with other people you can always join a Google hangout or something, like Chatroulette in conference call mode.

Unless they start showing pornos in IMAX 3D, most people are going to stay home.

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