5.29.2015

Dumbass Song Lyrics: “I Will Be Loving You Til We’re 70”

In the Ed Sheeran song “Thinking Out Loud” he says “Darling I will be loving you ‘til we’re 70.” What an odd thing to say considering human life expectancy is well above 70 these days. 70 is basically the new 50. Would people find it as heartwarming if he was saying “Darling I will be loving you until we’re 50”? That would sound ridiculous and suspicious. Well that’s basically what you’re saying when you tell someone you’re going to love them until you’re 70. Saying that to someone would probably raise some red flags. Just what kind of drug fueled hotel hooker orgy are you planning for your 70th birthday exactly?

What kind of sick bastard leaves their wife when they turn 70? I don’t know how you get that far and then decide to get separated. That’s the reason you see so many elderly couples. People think that’s some kind of accomplishment, it’s not as impressive as you think. When you live with a person that long they almost become a part of your own body so divorcing after 70 is like cutting your leg off. That’s why so many old people die shortly after their spouse dies. They die of emotional blood loss. It’s not a choice to stay together at that point. So if you’re making that choice to leave then that’s pretty fucked up. Odds are the woman you’re leaving won’t find love again. Even if she does, there’s a good chance she’s going to spend a lot of time very depressed and on awkward elderly people dates. What kind of monster would do that to someone they’ve been with for decades? This is a sickening song and the lyrics are despicable.

"I'll love you when you're 64, but six more years and I'm gone."

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