Ask McFartnuggets: “Dying With Your Eyes Open?”

Why close the eyes of a dead hooker?
Dear McFartnuggets:
How come in the movies whenever someone dies with their eyes open someone else walks over and dramatically wipes them both shut with their hand? If you saw someone dead with their eyes open what would you do? -- Marcy from California

Dear Marcy:
I think they do that in the movies for dramatic effect, but in real life that’s not something you should ever do. If you see someone lying there dead with their eyes open and all glazed over just call the cops and report the corpse. You don’t know what killed that person, it could be something contagious. If that’s not enough reason for you to not touch a dead person, have you ever heard the saying “The eyes are the window to the soul”? Well if that’s true then leave those windows open. Let the person’s soul look up to the heavens. Why the hell would you shut that person’s soul windows? Because it’s creepy to look at? If you’re creeped out just keep walking and stop staring into the eyes of a dead person!

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