3.11.2014

The Top 5 Least Sexy “Slutty” Female Halloween Costumes

Halloween would be entirely a child’s holiday if it wasn’t for women dressing in their slutty Halloween costumes. There’s a “slutty” version of nearly every conceivable Halloween costume around like “Slutty clown”, “Slutty Zombie”, “Slutty Pinocchio” and even “Slutty George W. Bush” but there are some slutty costumes that just don’t work. Here are the top 5 least sexy slutty female Halloween costumes:

5. Slutty Swamp Thing
Swamp Thing was a popular character in the 1980’s, but no one really considered it sexually provocative. Dressing up like a creature that emerges from a lagoon comprised of vegetable matter is not very attractive.

Swamps are breeding grounds for bacterium and parasites. Not exactly the best association to make for your feminine parts.

4. Slutty Michael Vick
A few years ago everyone was going as Michael Vick for Halloween because he was infamous for killing dogs which I guess is pretty scary. While it might be scary it damn sure isn’t sexy. I don’t care if you are a “Crazy cat lady” that doesn’t make it right to dress up like a slutty dog killer.

No, not that kind of dogfighting!

3. Slutty Jesus
Jesus is a pretty popular guy, but he’s also a holy figure in one of the biggest religions on Earth. Dressing as a slutty version of Jesus is going to be highly controversial and odds are not many will consider it sexy especially if you’ve added stigmata.

A Slutty Judas might be okay, but not slutty Jesus.

2. Slutty Stephen Hawking
Some people say intelligence is sexy. Unfortunately when it’s in a wheelchair with its head lulled to the side that’s not the sexiest thing in the world nor should it be. Why reward someone for doing this? I would recommend against this costume because there’s a good chance not everyone will know you’re Slutty Stephen Hawking and they might get offended that you’re mocking the handicapped.

Overall, a slutty Stephen Hawking costume is a very expensive way to offend people especially if you opt for the voice technology.

1. Slutty Freddy Krueger
Normally people want to look hot in a slutty costume, but Freddy Krueger is a little TOO HOT. No one needs to see a lady with burnt tits and knife fingers in a goofy sweater.

It's very difficult to look sexy in a fedora.

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