Ask McFartnuggets: “My Husband Is A Raging Chocoholic” and “What’s The Gayest Olympic Event?”

Why is this drug still legal?
Dear McFartnuggets: My husband has had problems battling chocoholism his whole life. He was doing great up until New Year’s Eve when he had a relapse. I’ve been finding Hershey wrappers hidden in the sofa cushions and some nights he’ll get home with his entire mouth covered in melted chocolate. I have no idea what he’s doing out there and it’s starting to tear our family apart. What can I do? -- Tiffany from Tampa Bay

Dear Tiffany:
It’s obvious you need to host an intervention for your husband. Get your family and friends together and surprise him when he’s coming home from one of his late night chocolate binges. Be honest and frank with him about how his desires are ruining your marriage and let him know what’s at stake. I’ve seen chocoholics throw away their lives before all over the sweet alluring siren of cocoa. Chocoholism is a disease. The doctors and the media don’t like to give it the respect it deserves, but it is a killer. You’re in a perfect position to help your husband through this. You need to help fill the void that chocolate satisfies for him. Hopefully in time he won’t be asking to break off a piece of that Kit Kat bar, he’ll be asking to break a piece off of that ass. I wish you all the best.

Dear McFartnuggets: What’s the gayest Olympic event? Gymnastics? Figure Skating? Men’s Two Man Luge? -- Laura from Georgia

Dear Laura:
Clearly the gayest Olympic sport is Men’s Skeet. The two-man luge on the other hand? I can see how that is a bit gay, but hey it gets cold in those European countries during the Winter. Sure there are better ways to stay warm, but none include getting a gold medal. Though let’s be honest if you’re in the two man luge maybe you’re looking more for the bronze.

Skeet, skeet, skeet!
I’m always here to help with your problems, email me at PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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