Ask McFartnuggets: "MFK: Andre The Giant, Adolf Hitler, A Bag of Razor Blades"

Gee, this is a tough one!
Dear McFartnuggets: 
If you went into a room with Andre The Giant, Adolf Hitler, and a bag of razor blades and you had to marry one, have sex with one, and kill one, what would you do? -- Catherine from Rhode Island

Dear Catherine:
You must really like this game. I wish I could say the same, however I will choose to humor you once again.

Clearly I'd have to kill Hitler, there's no way around that so now I'm left with a bit of a dilemma. I think the key to this is really what kind of bag of razor blades are we talking about here. Is it a garbage bag or a Ziploc bag? And how long to I have to have sex with it? I'm gonna assume it's a sandwich bag and I'll have sex with it for my usual 2 minutes. I think that's what I'll have to do. I don't think I could bring myself to have sex with Andre the Giant. I just couldn't. Marrying him wouldn't be so bad. He could carry me around everywhere in a backpack. That part of it would be fun.

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