Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Love Avocados So Much?”

Avocados are like eggplant
peaches made of boogers.
Dear McFartnuggets:
How come avocados are known as a “superfood” and everyone goes head over heels for them? I can’t stand avocados! They’re all bumpy and weird. The skin tastes terrible! Then you eat it and it’s like some kind of weird fatty vegetable crap that tastes like butter. It’s a vegetable that tastes like butter! Why aren’t more people disgusted and grossed out by that! The texture is so nasty and then if that weren’t enough it’s got a jawbreaker inside that takes forever to wear down. I was sucking on that bastard for days on and off before I even made any progress on it. After awhile I got so frustrated I just started taking bites and it really hurt my teeth and actually slipped down my throat and almost choked to death on it. Thank god my mom was in the room and gave me the heimlich! -- Nancy from Boise, Idaho

Dear Nancy:
You’re supposed to peel the skin off... The pit is edible, but it’s advised to grind it up in a blender or something. Just sucking on it like a jawbreaker is not recommended. I agree the avocado is a little overrated these days, but have you had guacamole? It’s probably the best tasting thing that looks like mucus from a hobo with a sinus infection. Anyways, I’m glad you survived your experience with the deadly avocado.

The electronic mail portal PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com is open for your questions.

No comments :

Post a Comment